How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
