If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
