i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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