"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Your penis caused this!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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