no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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