apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Pooping to opera.
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