Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
