If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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