I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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