I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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