How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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