He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
