There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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