i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
