Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
