...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
