Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
