I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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