you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
