Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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