There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
