break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
