I want you more than these girls want KFC
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
