Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This is my gift to your gina
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
