it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
