he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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