Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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