I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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