i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
