tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
tonight lets celebrate not being married
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
