Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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