I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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