her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
