Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
