He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
