Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
