I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
