chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it's like iHOP with fire
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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