...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
