I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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