Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
