i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
