Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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