Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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