Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
