I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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