All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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