Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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