So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it hurts more in the daytime
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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