PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
