It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize