First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
